The other day in class we discussed important things to learn about and be aware of when you are newly married. One thing that my professor brought up that really struck a chord with me was about how you and your new spouse would go about solving problems and dealing with disagreements. He brought up the following scriptures:
Ephesians 6:12
"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."
D&C 121:43
"Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;
"That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death."
I loved both of these scriptures. My teacher talked about the one in Ephesians and how it can be directed towards couples; we are literally engaged in a war against the evil things of this world brought on by the Adversary. We should not work against one another, but work together to fight and ultimately conquer this force for evil. I think that this is a great reminder of what we are really here to accomplish and prove to ourselves and our Heavenly Father.
The scripture in D&C was great as well. My teacher discussed it in length. He said that betimes means 'seasonally', not often. Also, the word sharpness has been talked about by Elder Groberg to mean "with strategic precision". I loved that! It doesn't mean sharpness of tongue and attitude or words. No, it means with exactness. Not overstepping any bounds and having your corrective measures leak over into other parts of that person's life.
I think that these things had a great impact on me not only because I definitely could improve on them and make sure to really see that I speak kindly to others at all times, never allowing a negative thought to come to my mind or be shared with others, but to always speak in an uplifting way of all. I also know that I was prompted to make this a lifelong goal of mine so that I can never hurt someone else. I know that learning to create this habit now will help me to become this way and be this type of person throughout my life.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
what makes a wedding GREAT?
A great wedding. What parts of the wedding make it great? While I was thinking of what would make my wedding great I thought of the following:
::: temple
::: family
::: friends
::: formal invitations
::: low cost
::: planning the wedding together with my fiance
::: careful about my expectations - don't make them too much or too extravagant, don't distract from the real importance of that day: being sealed to my husband
What things would be important to you to make your wedding great (or what things were important and made that day great)?
::: temple
::: family
::: friends
::: formal invitations
::: low cost
::: planning the wedding together with my fiance
::: careful about my expectations - don't make them too much or too extravagant, don't distract from the real importance of that day: being sealed to my husband
What things would be important to you to make your wedding great (or what things were important and made that day great)?
Saturday, October 22, 2011
~<>~<>~ first comes love, then comes marriage ~<>~<>~
...but what is love?
how do you define it?
Is it merely attraction? Being able to communicate well? Having fun together? Numerous common or similar interests? Caring for another?
As we had this discussion in class, it was interesting to see that sometimes love can be a difficult thing to describe. there are 4 different kinds of love:
eros
intimate/romantic love, sexual intimacy
agape
interest in one's well being, even without knowing them
philia
brotherly love
storge
familial love, parents <----> children, sibling <---->sibling
I guess after discussing this topic in class I had somewhat forgotten about how there are different types of love. It made me think about how the world views love and how I view love.
My teacher also asked us if we wanted a more companionate or passionate love. I definitely would have to say companionate. What a firm foundation that is! To truly know someone and for them to know you is a beautiful thing, to me. A quote I found on a coworker's wall describes love, to me, very well:
"True love 'beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, edureth all things'...That is ultimately a description of Christ's love - He is the great example of one who bore and believed and hoped and endured. We are invited to do the same in our courtship and in our marriage to the best of our ability. Bear up and be strong. Be hopeful and believing. Some things in life we have little or no control over. These have to be endured. Some disappointments have to be lived with in love and in marriage. These are not things anyone wants in life, but sometimes they come. And when they come, we have to bear them; we have to believe; we have to hope for an end to such sorrows and difficulty; we have to endure until things come right in the end. One of the great purposes of true love is to help each other in these times. No one ought to have to face such trials alone. We can endure almost anything if we have someone at our side who truly loves us, who is easing the burden and lightening the load."
I hope that I can not only find someone who possesses this desire and ability, but I hope that I can work even harder to become this person. What a blessing it is to love and be loved!
how do you define it?
Is it merely attraction? Being able to communicate well? Having fun together? Numerous common or similar interests? Caring for another?
As we had this discussion in class, it was interesting to see that sometimes love can be a difficult thing to describe. there are 4 different kinds of love:
eros
intimate/romantic love, sexual intimacy
agape
interest in one's well being, even without knowing them
philia
brotherly love
storge
familial love, parents <----> children, sibling <---->sibling
I guess after discussing this topic in class I had somewhat forgotten about how there are different types of love. It made me think about how the world views love and how I view love.
My teacher also asked us if we wanted a more companionate or passionate love. I definitely would have to say companionate. What a firm foundation that is! To truly know someone and for them to know you is a beautiful thing, to me. A quote I found on a coworker's wall describes love, to me, very well:
"True love 'beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, edureth all things'...That is ultimately a description of Christ's love - He is the great example of one who bore and believed and hoped and endured. We are invited to do the same in our courtship and in our marriage to the best of our ability. Bear up and be strong. Be hopeful and believing. Some things in life we have little or no control over. These have to be endured. Some disappointments have to be lived with in love and in marriage. These are not things anyone wants in life, but sometimes they come. And when they come, we have to bear them; we have to believe; we have to hope for an end to such sorrows and difficulty; we have to endure until things come right in the end. One of the great purposes of true love is to help each other in these times. No one ought to have to face such trials alone. We can endure almost anything if we have someone at our side who truly loves us, who is easing the burden and lightening the load."
I hope that I can not only find someone who possesses this desire and ability, but I hope that I can work even harder to become this person. What a blessing it is to love and be loved!
Monday, October 10, 2011
gender differences
As stated on my last post, gender is and always has existed. Men are men and women are women. There are particular characteristic differences. There are different roles we play in this life. It is my belief that Heavenly Father has particular roles for us to play during this earthly life, and after in the eternities, based on gender. We are both equal in His sight, but have differences which must be honored, appreciated, and therefore acknowledged and respected. Trying to change these differences would be trying to change the ways of forever; the ways of God.
We were assigned, as a class, to watch a video clip today on gender differences. It included numerous sides and positions taken on this topic. Many were adamant about their stance. One woman talked about how we need to raise our boys like we raise our girls. Our teacher brought this statement up in class and it started a good discussion. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh anyway...I believe what I believe. We each have our own gifts and talents and they are not limited, but we do have certain, specific tasks, roles and characteristics firmly planted and rooted in our very beings, in our very spirits. This cannot be changed and never will be.
sidenote: it's strange to start thinking about the 'why' behind all of this. Why do some people who feel they have the tenancies to be attracted to the same sex, or that they should have exact equal rights as another...why do they want to change things that have been so fundamentally distilled for such a long time? Is it pride? Is it that they aren't accepted? Is it because they aren't pleased with themselves for whatever reason or another? Why do people feel such an urge and desire to push so strongly against something that, until the last few years (give or take 10 or 20) has not been argued about so much? Sometimes...this makes my mind start to...bOgGlE.
We were assigned, as a class, to watch a video clip today on gender differences. It included numerous sides and positions taken on this topic. Many were adamant about their stance. One woman talked about how we need to raise our boys like we raise our girls. Our teacher brought this statement up in class and it started a good discussion. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh anyway...I believe what I believe. We each have our own gifts and talents and they are not limited, but we do have certain, specific tasks, roles and characteristics firmly planted and rooted in our very beings, in our very spirits. This cannot be changed and never will be.
sidenote: it's strange to start thinking about the 'why' behind all of this. Why do some people who feel they have the tenancies to be attracted to the same sex, or that they should have exact equal rights as another...why do they want to change things that have been so fundamentally distilled for such a long time? Is it pride? Is it that they aren't accepted? Is it because they aren't pleased with themselves for whatever reason or another? Why do people feel such an urge and desire to push so strongly against something that, until the last few years (give or take 10 or 20) has not been argued about so much? Sometimes...this makes my mind start to...bOgGlE.
reasons why
My professor had us watch a video clip of himself and another professor here at the university discussing homosexuality. I actually found this video very interesting.
Many things pointed back to how one was treated by others, sometimes starting with simple differences in qualities or characteristics (sensitivity, creativity, etc.), that aren't considered 'manly'. This may cause doubts in oneself and questions as to whether or not they are homosexual.
One thing mentioned that I really appreciated was about such men who contain such qualities - another person who contains similar qualities is Jesus Christ. These are still great men who can do great things! Just because they don't enjoy always destroying things, playing with trucks when they are children, going hunting, or whatever, does NOT mean that they are gay.
Another thing of importance that was noticed was that of the influence of a father. Sons need the influence of their father.
And the last thing that I wanted to take note of and share was when my professor said that he had heard someone (a professional) state "For every...gay [male couple], there are 2 women who will never have the opportunity to be married and have children in this world." This really made me pause and think, as he then said as well, about how much the Adversary is working against the family, and for me, especially against women (I am not saying that there is not work against men, but I'm a woman and therefore can take this stance a bit more firmly, so please just take it as it is). I think of women; women are characteristically sensitive, kind, gentle, soft-spoken, etc. Women have been entrusted with the ability to give birth to Heavenly Father's children. When the opportunity to be married, or even simply date, does not present itself (whether because of lack of dating, continual 'bad timing', bad experiences, etc), I truly believe that the Adversary whisks on in and attacks a woman's mind; the Adversary slips in little thoughts such as, "I guess I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough..." and on and on. Perhaps she starts to think that she is not desirable at all. If she is not good enough in one way or another, and marriage in the temple is of most priority in this life to us as Latter-day Saints, than she must be doing something wrong, or be worthless, or not have the right qualities to attract a righteous man. She can be trying all she can to be worthy of a righteous man and to be sealed in the House of the Lord, but when nothing comes, or when attempts to date fail, doubt is quick to arise in so many women. I have had far too many friends of mine (female) call me up during stressful, low times of their life related to lack of dating. The reasons expressed are always the same: not pretty enough, not smart enough, too talkative, not talkative enough...worthless compared to others.
What effort Satan puts into women feeling degraded, worthless, unimportant, not capable of doing great things, etc...all to stop effort on family. Eternal family. A family with numerous children of God with innumerable potential!!! Women, and men alike, truly are daughters and sons of God. A perfect being, which we have the potential to become like. Don't let yourself give way to the easiness of the self-depreciating thoughts from the Adversary. Remember that you are of great worth, male or female, and can do much. Don't allow lack of dating cause you to think you are something you are not. If you feel you have slipped that way, don't beat yourself up more - that is only what the Adversary would want. Believe and know that you can become better and change through the help of the Atonement.
What a wonderful gift the Atonement is; to learn, to grow, to change.
I know that gender was and always has existed for eons and eons and will never change.
Many things pointed back to how one was treated by others, sometimes starting with simple differences in qualities or characteristics (sensitivity, creativity, etc.), that aren't considered 'manly'. This may cause doubts in oneself and questions as to whether or not they are homosexual.
One thing mentioned that I really appreciated was about such men who contain such qualities - another person who contains similar qualities is Jesus Christ. These are still great men who can do great things! Just because they don't enjoy always destroying things, playing with trucks when they are children, going hunting, or whatever, does NOT mean that they are gay.
Another thing of importance that was noticed was that of the influence of a father. Sons need the influence of their father.
And the last thing that I wanted to take note of and share was when my professor said that he had heard someone (a professional) state "For every...gay [male couple], there are 2 women who will never have the opportunity to be married and have children in this world." This really made me pause and think, as he then said as well, about how much the Adversary is working against the family, and for me, especially against women (I am not saying that there is not work against men, but I'm a woman and therefore can take this stance a bit more firmly, so please just take it as it is). I think of women; women are characteristically sensitive, kind, gentle, soft-spoken, etc. Women have been entrusted with the ability to give birth to Heavenly Father's children. When the opportunity to be married, or even simply date, does not present itself (whether because of lack of dating, continual 'bad timing', bad experiences, etc), I truly believe that the Adversary whisks on in and attacks a woman's mind; the Adversary slips in little thoughts such as, "I guess I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough..." and on and on. Perhaps she starts to think that she is not desirable at all. If she is not good enough in one way or another, and marriage in the temple is of most priority in this life to us as Latter-day Saints, than she must be doing something wrong, or be worthless, or not have the right qualities to attract a righteous man. She can be trying all she can to be worthy of a righteous man and to be sealed in the House of the Lord, but when nothing comes, or when attempts to date fail, doubt is quick to arise in so many women. I have had far too many friends of mine (female) call me up during stressful, low times of their life related to lack of dating. The reasons expressed are always the same: not pretty enough, not smart enough, too talkative, not talkative enough...worthless compared to others.
What effort Satan puts into women feeling degraded, worthless, unimportant, not capable of doing great things, etc...all to stop effort on family. Eternal family. A family with numerous children of God with innumerable potential!!! Women, and men alike, truly are daughters and sons of God. A perfect being, which we have the potential to become like. Don't let yourself give way to the easiness of the self-depreciating thoughts from the Adversary. Remember that you are of great worth, male or female, and can do much. Don't allow lack of dating cause you to think you are something you are not. If you feel you have slipped that way, don't beat yourself up more - that is only what the Adversary would want. Believe and know that you can become better and change through the help of the Atonement.
What a wonderful gift the Atonement is; to learn, to grow, to change.
I know that gender was and always has existed for eons and eons and will never change.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
p.s.
Oh, wait! Wait! Wait for me! I forgot to include one other thing:
Socioeconomic Classes.
Discussing this topic was definitely interesting. Our teacher had us watch some clips online from a program done through PBS about classes and how people define others in higher or lower classes. Some interviewed those in such classes. One even was titled, "How to Marry the Rich". This clip showed a woman who had made it her profession to study the rich and their etiquette, how far apart they stand when talking with each other, and even how their shoulders are positioned when standing next to one another to imply confidence in oneself.
My thoughts: ridiculous!
But, by thinking that, I realized I had just judged them...for judging another person. Smooth move, Jen. Smooth.
But, anyway...it was an interesting topic, one that I really would like to learn more about. It sadly is a part of human life, I believe. It is so easy to just simply judge another person. And what is it based off of? Appearance. Income. Home size and location. Sex. Race. Education. And.so.on. I hope I can remember this lesson and make sure to incorporate it into my life by not judging others instantly. Get to know them for who they really are, not just how much money they make or where they live.
Socioeconomic Classes.
Discussing this topic was definitely interesting. Our teacher had us watch some clips online from a program done through PBS about classes and how people define others in higher or lower classes. Some interviewed those in such classes. One even was titled, "How to Marry the Rich". This clip showed a woman who had made it her profession to study the rich and their etiquette, how far apart they stand when talking with each other, and even how their shoulders are positioned when standing next to one another to imply confidence in oneself.
My thoughts: ridiculous!
But, by thinking that, I realized I had just judged them...for judging another person. Smooth move, Jen. Smooth.
But, anyway...it was an interesting topic, one that I really would like to learn more about. It sadly is a part of human life, I believe. It is so easy to just simply judge another person. And what is it based off of? Appearance. Income. Home size and location. Sex. Race. Education. And.so.on. I hope I can remember this lesson and make sure to incorporate it into my life by not judging others instantly. Get to know them for who they really are, not just how much money they make or where they live.
rules, laws, opinions and such
The other day in class we discussed "family rules". These can be anything from how your family brings up/solves problems of importance, who does what tasks in the home, or even time spent together as a family. Every family has rules. Most are unspoken, and just seem to be 'known' by all family members.
As we talked about this subject further, we had an example given by our teacher. He shared about how his wife had opened all of his mail one day. He was completely shocked! Why would she do such a thing?! That was his mail, hence, he should be the one opening it, not her.
Well, she was just doing it because in her family, her mother was the one who opened all of the mail each day.
This wasn't found out until some contention had risen, but still...kind of funny. :o) (It also reminded me of this episode from The Dick van Dyke Show)
All of this (and more...!) comes about because each person comes from a different family, and their families will have different 'rules'. And since, like mentioned previously, they are mostly just known, not written down, they aren't discussed to each spouse so that the other understands. They just...happen. They happen through everyday actions. Maybe one spouse was taught that the husband was suppopsed to take out the garbage while the wife did the dishes. This may one day start to irritate the husband, as he starts to notice that the garbage never gets taken out. Perhaps he thinks his wife is lazy. Or maybe she is upset at him. ...when in all reality, she is just perplexed that he hasn't taken it out himself, like her father always did.
It was a fun and interesting topic. The teacher asked that we think about our own family rules and it amazed me as I quickly came to realize that my family does have our own set of 'rules'. This has caused me to be more aware of how I act now, living on my own, and how it may come across to roommates and others I am around.
Can you think of any family rules? Have you had any experiences with others where your rules and theirs clashed? Do tell!
As we talked about this subject further, we had an example given by our teacher. He shared about how his wife had opened all of his mail one day. He was completely shocked! Why would she do such a thing?! That was his mail, hence, he should be the one opening it, not her.
Well, she was just doing it because in her family, her mother was the one who opened all of the mail each day.
This wasn't found out until some contention had risen, but still...kind of funny. :o) (It also reminded me of this episode from The Dick van Dyke Show)
All of this (and more...!) comes about because each person comes from a different family, and their families will have different 'rules'. And since, like mentioned previously, they are mostly just known, not written down, they aren't discussed to each spouse so that the other understands. They just...happen. They happen through everyday actions. Maybe one spouse was taught that the husband was suppopsed to take out the garbage while the wife did the dishes. This may one day start to irritate the husband, as he starts to notice that the garbage never gets taken out. Perhaps he thinks his wife is lazy. Or maybe she is upset at him. ...when in all reality, she is just perplexed that he hasn't taken it out himself, like her father always did.
It was a fun and interesting topic. The teacher asked that we think about our own family rules and it amazed me as I quickly came to realize that my family does have our own set of 'rules'. This has caused me to be more aware of how I act now, living on my own, and how it may come across to roommates and others I am around.
Can you think of any family rules? Have you had any experiences with others where your rules and theirs clashed? Do tell!
Monday, October 3, 2011
earth life is for family life
This might be just a teeny, tiny wee bit off of topic from class...but I feel like writing it anyway.
This past weekend was General Conference. If you missed any of it, I highly suggest that you should make time to watch, listen to or read it on the LDS website.
One talk that I really enjoyed was given by Elaine S. Dalton. She started off her talk by asking this question:
How can a father raise a happy, well-adjusted daughter in today's increasingly toxic world?
And her answer was:
The most important thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother.
I wholeheartedly agree with this! What a beautiful topic and what a beautiful, and absolutely true answer! I know that children do learn by example, especially from that of their parents. Sister Dalton reemphasized this when she said, "She will learn from your example what to expect from young men. You can show your daughter by the way you love your wife that she should never expect less. You are showing her that she is a daughter of God who loves her."
She then went on to explain why it is of such great import that you teach your daughter by example these things:
A temple marriage is worthy of your greatest efforts and highest priority.
The temple. The temple, it's teachings, covenants and reason why we have them all point to Christ. He is the life and light of the world. The living water. The author and finisher of our faith. He can and will bring us joy if we are examples of righteousness to our children, and also if we, as children (both of our earthly parents and Heavenly parents) are obedient and righteous to our parents' teachings.
It was only after Nephi had completed the temple in the wilderness that he stated, "and we lived after the manner of happiness." The manner of happiness is found in temple; it is covenant keeping. Don't let any influence come into your life or your home that would cause you to compromise your covenants or your commitment to your wife.
I know that is not only important for a father to show and be this living example for his daughter, but for a mother to do likewise for her son. The temple is our goal, and not to simply be sealed. That is only the beginning. And where will children learn more of a better example than in the home from their own parents?
I hope that I can continue to strive and do only better to prepare to be a parent who lives by example. My children will be placed in my home and entrusted to me and my husband. What a great responsibility and calling. It definitely is one worth making all sacrifices and efforts for.
This past weekend was General Conference. If you missed any of it, I highly suggest that you should make time to watch, listen to or read it on the LDS website.
One talk that I really enjoyed was given by Elaine S. Dalton. She started off her talk by asking this question:
How can a father raise a happy, well-adjusted daughter in today's increasingly toxic world?
And her answer was:
The most important thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother.
I wholeheartedly agree with this! What a beautiful topic and what a beautiful, and absolutely true answer! I know that children do learn by example, especially from that of their parents. Sister Dalton reemphasized this when she said, "She will learn from your example what to expect from young men. You can show your daughter by the way you love your wife that she should never expect less. You are showing her that she is a daughter of God who loves her."
She then went on to explain why it is of such great import that you teach your daughter by example these things:
A temple marriage is worthy of your greatest efforts and highest priority.
The temple. The temple, it's teachings, covenants and reason why we have them all point to Christ. He is the life and light of the world. The living water. The author and finisher of our faith. He can and will bring us joy if we are examples of righteousness to our children, and also if we, as children (both of our earthly parents and Heavenly parents) are obedient and righteous to our parents' teachings.
It was only after Nephi had completed the temple in the wilderness that he stated, "and we lived after the manner of happiness." The manner of happiness is found in temple; it is covenant keeping. Don't let any influence come into your life or your home that would cause you to compromise your covenants or your commitment to your wife.
Salt Lake City LDS Temple
I hope that I can continue to strive and do only better to prepare to be a parent who lives by example. My children will be placed in my home and entrusted to me and my husband. What a great responsibility and calling. It definitely is one worth making all sacrifices and efforts for.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)