It seems that time keeps slipping by much too quickly, and only goes by faster with each passing year. And somehow, I manage to keep on learning things, changing, growing, renewing, creating, letting go and moving on.
One thing that I continuously learn is about the real difficulties of marriage. Yes, I may be minoring in Marriage and Family Studies, but I feel as if just growing up, year by year, I come to learn more about life, and that in turns teaches me more about family life, especially that of marriage.
When I was younger I truly thought my parents did everything right and were perfect, to a degree (that's completely contradictory, but whatever). But little by little over the past several years, that way of seeing things has been corrected. I know that they are human and therefore imperfect. But I still love them, just the same. Perhaps, even more. More because I know that much more about them, and that means I know that they were trying that much more to be better for me, for our family.
It really humbles me to think about myself being a parent one day. {thank goodness gracious I'm not one yet, I don't think I'm ready for that...but then again, can you really ever be? I'm quite certain you can't. Blast!}
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that with all these realizations over the past few years, along with making my own mistakes [never fun], having to pick myself back up again, living with others and seeing little quirks they have, growing older and therefore more firm in my ways and thinkings, creating my own traditions and forming new habits...I realize through all of this how difficult marriage really will be. That does not mean that it won't or can't be great. But what it does mean is that it truly will be hard, persistant work. Consciously. Every effort, and then some. I'm quite certain that marriage will be quite a few things I thought it would be, but everything else I didn't.
With all this thinking, I try to make it my goal to live a better life, day by day, one bit at a time. Try to be more loving (even if it's just to myself), try to be more patient (...even if it's just with myself...), try to do more service for others, try to be more diligent in being obedient in all things and in all ways, trying to be more aware of those around me, trying to be more diligent in being constantly kind, considerate and faithful. I know that this will all help me when I am married one day. It will only help to fortify mine and my husband's relationship and how we will be with our children when they come. This world is seemingly on a downward spiral, with no stops along the way, and I've got to be prepared as much as I can to be amidst that awful ride, so much so that I can't even feel the twists and turns sprung about every moment.
Here's to preparing...!
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